HL2 BARMEY AU

i did an art trade with the tgcmd author... i was asked for "Freeman's Mind 2, but with HL2-ized Barmey". i thought about it for one second too long and now i have problems. maybe now we all have problems...

anyway i jokingly call this "Freehoun (Evil)" because from top to bottom its pretty much a subversion of the typical HL2 dynamics-- freeman's mind gordon is loud and abrasive, barney's mind barney is enthusiastic and oblivious... kleiner's kind exterior belies his hidden cruelty, etc etc. look i really did think it through a little bit too much

i admit, subversion-style AUs usually end up drastically straying from the source material, and this is not spared from that fate. i accept this, which is why its contained in its own little section, where im going to make evil gordon and evil barney have wild sex with each other,




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I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in MIT, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the Overwatch, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I've killed the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The portal storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my crowbar. Not only am I extensively trained in armed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps Hazardous Environment Combat Unit and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.